* This will be a series, as the wedding progresses, stay tuned!*
“We’re ENGAGED” OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? E-N-A-G-A-G-E-D. “Okay, woah, hold up. I’m still drunk from New Years over here.”
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for them. Mind you, I’m kinda sorta self centred in a way where I’m like “Leave me alone, unless were drinking, I’ll support whatever you do as long as you shut the fuck up.” Harsh. Yes.
So they’re getting married and you’re single (and probably drunk). Let this not discourage you my darling!
DISCLAIMER: PLEASE READ THE SECTION WHERE I’M A TAD SELFISH? OKAY. I’M ALSO KINDA BEEYOTCHY. Understood?
So you’re in the wedding? Cue a TON of awesome events to a) get drunk at. b) look fucking fabulous c) meet hot guys.
HOW TO SURVIVE:
Bridesmaid Dresses: This one was super easy for me. I have awesome skin tone and I look good in literally every colour and there’s very few things I can’t wear. I have an ass and boobs too. I ended up being a model aka the one who gets to have A LOT of say. I chose a halter dress. In her colour and it’s super cute. on me. whoops?
Her Dress: Okay, well. I mean it’s a little tight and you didn’t cry. USE THIS “I’m going to be SO emotional when you walk down the aisle!”
Buck N Doe: (This is an upcoming one for me) So far, I’m not running it. SO. I’m getting drunk and looking way better then her. whatever, she’s getting married and I’m single.