Life

{The Words I’ll Never Say}

Saying goodbye to you has always been the hardest thing I’ve ever do. I never know if it’s the last time, maybe I’m dependent on you still, just bit. I’ve been your biggest fan for 2 years and I’m still your biggest fan. I’m so so so proud of you for being an adult. Don’t think because it hurts I’m not proud because I’m more of proud of you each day more than you know. I don’t know why it hurts because it shouldn’t, I’m so used to you leaving and I mean it like it’s rare if we’re in the same city. We’re not even dating, so it really shouldn’t hurt. We’ve had a hell of a year and in that year we were both forced to grow up a bit, and we’ve finally started to hit normal again. To say that all my feelings for you have gone away would be a lie, because much like you – they never really leave. Maybe, I’m still rooting for us. Sometimes, when we’re together I know you do too. But I also can’t wait around and plan my life around someone who doesn’t take me into consideration or maybe you do, I don’t know. Over the last few years I’ve watched you break my heart to put it back together and go through hell and back with me. You’ve been my biggest cheerleader when I wanted to give up, always there for every mental breakdown and I know I’m a lot to handle and yet you still found a way to love me through my many many flaws. Maybe you leaving is shitty because I’m finally able to plan out a future for once and I guess I always thought it would be with you. I just want you to know that I’m so proud of you, even if it does suck for me. I tell you all the time how thankful I am for you. I always will be, so go soar out there, I’ll be right where you need me cheering you on as always.

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